A Geenie Grants Your Wish You Don’t Want

Okay, bear with me. Let’s just say you’re a normal person leading a normal life with the normal litany of gripes: my KID wanted this dog, but now I have to walk them every day?; if I have to mow this grass one more time I’m just going to pave it and paint it green; AND OMG Philadelphia airport(!!), why do you have to put  every single terminal 5000 miles away in its own zip code??

Then rummaging through your attic one day, you lift up a board to uncover a lamp that had been there probably since the invention of attics. Being dusty, you rubbed at it with some old nasty sham wow in the corner to clean it up a bit, and it starts smoking. You’re like, whaaat it’s a bomb!, spike it, turn to get out of there when you hear a deep sonorous voice.

“Whoa there cowboy. I’m not a bomb. Just a Geenie.”

A Geenie?? Shut up!

“I don’t think you actually want that.”

Right! Sorry, there Aladdin. Can I call you Al?

“No. Not even a little bit.”

[big pause as the nameless Gennie just stares with his big brown droopy eyes]

Alrighty then, I get 3 wishes right?

“Whoa again, you get 1 wish, and I already have it picked out for you.”

One? What a ripoff! What happened to three??

“Geenie’s Union.”

That’s not a thing.

“Oh, it’s totally a thing. We’d gone thousands of years giving 3 wishes until Millennials came along.”

Millennials?

“Yeah, they starting wishing for infinite wishes. They found a loophole. And we were putting in SO much overtime granting silly wishes like job security without actually DOING anything, participation trophies without actually DOING anything, living in their parent’s basement without DOING anything, that we created the new contract. One wish. I pick.”

Damn Millennials.

“Right?”

Wait, so how do you know what my wish is?

“Um, Geenie! I know what you’ve been thinking this whole time. Sooooo …”

At that moment, a cloud of smoke poofed and a sound like Rice Crispies crinkled in the air.

“I’m going to write into my official log that I gave you 30 seconds to get down stairs and onto the couch, because you’re going to need it, and I’m just a nice guy like that.”

My couch?

“Tick tock, brother!”

Giddy with possibilities, this was like Christmas morning. Quickly you settled in and waited the 30 seconds. Nothing. HEY GEENIE, you yell up to the attic, WHAT THE …

“You don’t have to yell. I’ll keep my voice in your head for a bit. And because I like you, I have granted you many of your wishes all in one. You no longer have to mow the yard. You no longer have to walk the dog. And you no longer have to suffer through the endless bad planning decisions of the Philadelphia Airport Authority. Congrats, man.”

You feel awesome! Then, when you try to get up to get the phone to call your wife and try to explain this little X files dream sequence, you realize you can’t move. It just doesn’t work. None of it. You’re paralyzed.

Geenie, wait! Put it back, you plead like George Bailey calling out to Clarence, I want to move. I want to mow and walk the stupid dog and I know zero people want to be in Philly’s airport, but I’d even go there!

“Nope. One and done. Plus, now I gotta go. Union rules.”

But Geenie, I can’t play with my kids any more. Can’t go where I want when I want to. I’ll have to be waited on by others for the rest of my immobile life, I hate this!

[crickets]

Here’s why we need to change how we think about movement. It is a gift and a miracle that, if some tragic magic befell us and we suddenly lost it, we would long for the inconvenience of movement.

Here’s how to start thinking about movement. You move because you GET to, not because you HAVE to. Hold on to that blessing with both hands, because the more you move, the more you will be able to move through your life.

Joni Mitchell sang, “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. They paved paradise, put up a parking lot.” Just seemed an appropriate wrap up to this article.

Ginger, Lemon Scones

These scones would make a nice complement to a relaxing brunch.

You’ll Need
  • 2 cups flour
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon cream of tartar
  • 1/4 cup crystallized ginger, finely chopped, (found in the spice section of store)
  • 2 teaspoons grated lemon zest
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 1 Tablespoon vegetable oil
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 Tablespoon water
  • 1 Tablespoon sugar
Directions
  • Preheat oven to 350° F.
  • In a medium bowl, mix together flour, sugar, baking soda and cream of tartar.
  • Stir in ginger and lemon zest.
  • In a separate bowl, combine buttermilk and oil.
  • Fold into dry ingredients until blended.
  • Turn the slightly sticky dough out onto a lightly floured board and form into a rectangle about ½ inch in thickness.
  • With a knife, cut each triangles about 4 inches tall (or so).
  • Re-roll and cut the scraps, handling the dough as little as possible.
  • Place scones onto a baking sheet.
  • Blend water in w egg in a bowl, and then lightly paint the tops of the scones with the glaze.
  • Sprinkle scones with sugar.
  • Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the tops are golden and firm to touch.
  • Serve warm.

 

Tuna Fish Salad

Let’s stock our pantries for eating in the home success. A can of tuna fish is a helpful food to leave in your pantry for those days when you need a quick meal. Try this tuna salad recipe it contains yogurt and is quick and easy to make.

You’ll Need:

  • 1 can Tuna 
  • Plain yogurt
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Additional ingredients (see list below)

Directions:

Empty the can of tuna into a small bowl.
Mix in just plain yogurt to bind the tuna.
Add additional ingredients to your liking.
Place over a salad or on a bagel or bread.

Ideas for additional ingredients:

Carrots, grated
Green or black olives, diced
Celery, diced
Cucumber, diced
Green or red pepper, diced
Dill pickle, diced
Hard boiled egg, chopped

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Stress May Be A Nightmare, But You Can “Find The Good” Solution

Let’s say you have a nightmare. King Kong is chasing you through New York City, and you may hide under some random desk in a random building that your brain conjured up for this little dream sequence, but no matter where you go, the giant bloodshot eyeball tracks across the window looking for you because this giant ape has nothing better to do in his day than relentlessly hunt you down.

You wake up sweating, heart pounding, eyes dilated. And you instantly recognize — even as you nervously glance out your window — that King Kong is a fiction, but that does not make your body’s physiological reaction any less.

You had a very real stress response to a very obviously unreal mountainous ape. But because your brain interpreted those images as real at the time, the physiological stress response took over. The same thing happens, eyes opened, every day when people see things, they are interpreted by your brain as good or bad.

So. If the very same event is interpreted as bad, it can elicit a very real stress response inside your body. If the same bad driver, rude teenager, or disfunctional Alexa is not taken as a bad thing — once it gets inside your brain — then it will NOT elicit a stress response.

One solution to act as your shield is to “find the good”, where you can, when you can, how you can. Practice this. Make it a habit, and it will help control whether your observations turn into a positive outcome for your body, or whether they turn into a stress-induced physiological nightmare.

Good Stress Gone Bad … it is a bit like Darth Vader

When I grew up, Darth Vader was marauding the galaxy, just being 50 shades of evil. And that was great to know. Vader = bad. Luke = good.

But that simple little equation didn’t hold for long, because later we learned that dear old Darth was actually daddy Darth for little Luke and had a soft spot somewhere in the pit of his black mechanical heart.

Awww. He’s not all bad, he’s just misunderstood!

In today’s nutritional world the same thing happened. All cholesterol was all bad all the time. Cholesterol = bad. Simple. But now we learn, like daddy Darth, that there is good cholesterol and bad cholesterol, and 75% of your cholesterol is made by your own liver because it’s vital for your health to have it on board. You need that good cholesterol!

Awww. It’s not all bad, it was just misunderstood!

Let me stress that stress is the same way. When you hear people talk, they’ll speak about stress like it’s something they need to avoid. But your body is set up to respond to stress by making you focused, routing blood to your brain, to your muscles and lungs. Your physiology create the internal conditions that gives you an advantage during stress.

Awww … just misunderstood, again!

What turns stress from a good thing into a bad thing is the same thing that turns any food from good-for-you to bad-for-you. And that is volume. Too much water = hyponatremia, which is bad. Too much wine = bad; too much chocolate = bad; too much food = bad; and on and on. When stress goes from being a short term occurrence to a chronic burden, then your body’s long term exposure to stress hormones can create a raft of unhealthy effects downstream.

So, remember that short term stress is not bad at all, until it becomes chronic stress.

Top 10 Probiotic Foods

(Excellent article from Alexandra Sifferlin at Time/Health)

One of the most crucial parts of our body when it comes to health is our microbiome—the trillions of bacteria that live in our gut. Scientists are learning that the bacterial communities we live with are linked to everything from body weight to asthma to acne. Having the right balance of bugs may keep us well in the long term. Some bacteria in the gut are good for our health, while other strains raise our risk for disease.

 We shape our microbiome makeup through our everyday diet. Many of the foods listed below are high in nutrients like fiber, which feeds healthy gut microbes. Those microbes produce short-chain fatty acids that get absorbed into the bloodstream and reduce inflammation while strengthening the immune system. These gut-friendly foods also contain pro- or prebiotics, which help gut-bacteria diversity. Probiotics are bacteria that are very similar to or the same as good-bacteria colonies already in our gut. They’re in many foods on this list, including yogurt and sauerkraut. Prebiotics, on the other hand, are a type of plant fiber often found in vegetables that nourishes good bacteria. (Good sources of prebiotics include chickpeas, bananas and artichokes.)

Both are important for keeping you regular and building a better microbiome. Here are some probiotic-filled foods to consider adding to your diet.

Cottage cheese

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat it: This throwback cheese makes a great base for both sweet and savory snacks. Mix it with fruit and walnuts, or add olive oil, cucumber slices and a pinch of salt and pepper.

Why it’s good for you: Cheese lovers, rejoice: cottage cheese is a great pick for your gut. As with other fermented foods, cottage cheese often delivers probiotics (check the package labels for live and active cultures), and it’s high in calcium, which is important for strong bones.

Kimchi

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat it: This Korean fermented- cabbage dish can add a flavor kick to nearly any food. Mix kimchi with brown rice or simply enjoy on its own.

Why it’s good for you: A probiotic made with cruciferous vegetables like cabbage and garlic, kimchi not only is gut-friendly but also may help reduce cancer risk.

Sauerkraut

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat it: A small helping of sauerkraut paired with lean meat adds up to a tasty and nutritious meal.

Why it’s good for you: The cabbage in sauerkraut, a food that dates to the 4th century B.C., is fermented with lactic-acid bacteria, which means it’s good for keeping your digestive system in balance. You also get fiber and compounds that boost the immune system.

Yogurt

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat it: Add fresh fruit, seeds and a little granola to a bowl of plain yogurt for a filling breakfast or afternoon snack.

Why it’s good for you: A fermented food, yogurt naturally contains lots of probiotic cultures that strengthen the digestive tract. Some Greek yogurt also boasts added probiotics like Lactobacillus acidophilus and Lactobacillus casei that may help increase the good bacteria in your gut.

Miso

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat it: Add a dollop of miso—a fermented soybean-based paste used in Japanese cooking—to soups. For a tasty salmon marinade, mix miso with ingredients like mirin, vinegar, soy sauce and sesame oil.

Why it’s good for you: Yes, miso can be high in sodium, but this gut-healthy pick delivers good amounts of protein, calcium, iron and magnesium.

Pickles

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat them: Add chopped pickles to your potato salad or use in your lunch wrap in place of high-fat spreads. To get that healthy bacteria, buy pickles brined in salt water, not vinegar.

Why they’re good for you: Cucumber pickles are brined in salt water and fermented, giving you that beneficial bacteria. Each spear offers vitamins A and K, important for blood and cell health, and potassium, vital for healthy heart function. Just keep in mind that pickles tend to be high in sodium.

Kombucha

Lucas Zarebinski

How to drink it: Enjoy kombucha straight from the bottle. You may need to sample a few varieties to find the one you like best.

Why it’s good for you: Kombucha is a fermented tea that also contains some gases and a small amount of alcohol, which gives it carbonation. It’s full of probiotics and antioxidants that support the immune system. Sip in moderation, though: it contains lactic acid, which in large amounts can build up in the bloodstream and harm your health.

Apple-cider vinegar

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat it: This vinegar—made from fermented apple sugars—is delicious in salad dressings.

Why it’s good for you: The acetic acid in vinegar aids digestion. One 2009 study even linked regular apple- cider-vinegar consumption with weight loss. The acid may turn on fat metabolism and help keep blood sugar levels normal. Experts recommend keeping total intake per day at or below four tablespoons.

Tempeh

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat it: Tempeh is a protein made from soybeans that you can use instead of meat. Add it to stir-fries with vegetables and healthy grains like brown rice.

Why it’s good for you: Compounds in this good gut food may have anti-inflammatory and even anti- tumor effects. Tempeh also serves up a helping of healthy monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats.

Parmesan cheese

Lucas Zarebinski

How to eat it: Sprinkle parmesan cheese on air- popped popcorn for a healthy and filling snack.

Why it’s good for you: Some fermented cheeses, like parmesan, contain lactic-acid bacteria that can create gut-healthy probiotics. Cheese also contains important nutrients like protein and calcium.

When It’s Okay To Be Type-A

I feel like I need to go to meetings. 

“Hello, my name is Will”. 

[in unison] “Hello Will.” 

“It’s been two weeks since my last workaholic episode, my phone is no longer physically plugged into my umbilical cord, and I don’t hyperventilate until I pass out when I take an entire day off.” 

[polite applause] I nod. Smile meekly but appreciatively, and sit back down.  

Yes, I am that person. The one who works all the time. And I know how that seems like I’m a tortured soul with a one-dimensional life, but that’s not actually true. And I also know that this article is going to sound a bit like a rationalization for an obvious mental disorder, but it also isn’t.  

Where The Concern Comes From 

The Type-A behavior pattern is defined as a temperament with excessive ambition, aggression, competitiveness, drive, impatience, need for control, and unrealistic sense of urgency. These are the overachievers who just cannot get themselves to sit down and chill out for a second.  

It’s also commonly stated that this pattern of behavior can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. In fact, this WebMD article is explicit: “Type A Triggers Heart Disease”. Nothing equivocal about that. And if you’re a competitive person, or someone driven to succeed, you might read this and think that these tendencies will be the death of you.  

However, although it’s true that the Type-A personality profile is more prone to cardiovascular disease and death, it’s also completely misleading. Type A behavior has many traits associated it (seven of them, based on the list above). And the uber anal-retentive fact-finding obsessives like me will doubtless ask which one of these traits is most responsible, or whether it is the combination of those traits, or perhaps a subset of those traits. Huh? Huh?  

It turns out that there is hope for my people.  

Type-A personality is to heart disease … as coffee is to cancer   

Several decades ago, researchers discovered that those people who drink coffee also have a greater risk of getting cancer. As a result, these two factors were linked and we were burdened with an incorrect assumption: coffee consumption increases the risk of cancer.  

The problem with this conclusion – in addition coffee-deprived mornings – was that those who drank coffee also tended to smoke. In other words, many variables were associated with coffee consumption and only one of them was actually responsible an increased risk of cancer (smoking). That means all the other variables associated with coffee consumption – like actually drinking coffee – are not related an increasing risk of cancer at all.  

It’s a totally rookie science error.  

The same basic problem seems to be at play in the link between the Type-A personality and cardiovascular disease. Of the seven different traits all assigned to this personality type, it turns out that only a couple of them contribute to heart problems.  And the question really is, which trait is contributing to heart problems?  

Anger and Hostility Are Not Your Friend 

Hostility itself is a well-established risk factor for heart disease, all on its own.  This effect held up for healthy people as well as those who have had prior cardiovascular problems.  

This is supported by the Coronary Artery Risk Development in Young Adults (CARDIA) study. A total of 3308 adults aged 18 to 30 years from 4 US metropolitan areas were followed up on over 15 years. Researchers wanted to discover which of the traits (time urgency/impatience (TUI), achievement striving/competitiveness (ASC), hostility, depression, and/or anxiety) were associated with hypertension.  

They found that achievement, striving, and competitiveness – all classic hallmarks of a Type-A person – were not related to hypertension at all. However, the traits of impatience and hostility were related in a dose-dependent manner. In other words, the higher the hostility and impatience, the higher the risk of hypertension.  

The message seems to be that being a hypermotivated slacker-annoying overachiever is irrelevant to your cardiovascular health. It’s neither here nor there (one less thing to micromanage, right?). So go ahead and achieve away. Have a good time running through your infinite do-loop of tasks.  

What does matter is whether you carry yourself through this life with anger and hostility, or live through more positive emotions. And this distinction seems to be the case no matter where you are on the scale, from busy bee to beach bum.